Discovering hope when all seems lost
"I feel your heart breaking, see you resigned to the endless night. But I bring the day and its warmth. The sun and I are brothers, and we have not forgotten you."
My Journey with Bluebird
As I begin my own journey of finally pursuing my calling as a spiritual advisor and healer, I find it fitting that I start my first blog post with Bluebird. Years ago, when I was attending college to become an English Language Arts teacher, I was struggling tremendously with depression. I had struggled with it all of my life, and at this point, I had begun a spiritual awakening that frightened me, leaving me with mixed emotions and contrary understandings of my own spirituality. The confusion and depression were so overwhelming, that I felt wrenched apart; my heart and chest were a cavern.
As I walked through the fog of this cavern, going to classes and returning to my dorm room to crawl under my blankets to avoid my roommates, Bluebird was patiently waiting. When I had first moved in to my dorm, I had pinned a picture of a bluebird I had told myself I wanted to get as my first tattoo. And for months, he had looked back at me from the mirror to which I had pinned him. He was happy. His beak curved in a cheerful smile and he flew; wherever he was flying, it seemed to be the most wonderful place, because his joy was palpable. The artist had encapsulated the very essence of innocent playfulness and song in this tiny tattoo sketch. My heart longed for that playfulness and happiness.
Finally, somewhere along freshman year, I broke. I wept for the loss of the church I had served so faithfully, but in which I no longer seemed to fit. I wept for relationship with my high school sweetheart I felt withering and wasting away. I wept for the lack of love I had for myself. There were so many things.
And Bluebird patiently waited.
I looked in the mirror, disgusted with myself. I was weak. I had no future. I didn't deserve one. Looking back at me was Bluebird. You deserve to be happy. You can be happy like me. Hold on to the good memories as if they are treasured gold. Hold them to you like the warmth of the sun. Keep me close to your heart, and I will remind you. I will remind you that you are enough, and that happiness is yours.
That week, I scheduled my first tattoo session. Since that day, Bluebird has rested over my heart. When I feel my heart growing heavy, when pessimism seems to want to rule the day, when outside energies press upon me, I place my hand over my chest and feel the warmth. I feel the beating life pumping through me, and I know happiness is mine to claim.
“For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29: 11
While this passage is taken from Christian scripture, I urge you to open your heart to its message regardless of your spiritual practice. This is just one message Bluebird has offered me through his teachings, and I fully believe he offered it because of the meaning taken from it. Spirit, Source, the Divine, whatever name you have given this magnificent creative presence surrounding us, gave each of us a purpose (which I'll talk more about later with Turtle medicine). This purpose has taken root in your heart, and if you ignore this plan, you are more than likely heart sick.
Bluebird is heart medicine. He is the sun-bearer who travels with its rays, bathing your own cavern with slices of joyful light to warm you again. This warmth will help you to grow and prosper; he will carry hope on his wings and fly with you as you discover your future. All is not lost. You are not hopeless. Desolation is not in your plan.
Bluebird as an Ally
Perhaps you have come upon this page because Bluebird has already come to you; our greatest Allies often come to us in times of our greatest need. While walking outdoors, you may have been gifted with one of his delightful feathers. Or, you've noticed beautiful pictures and paintings of bluebirds everywhere you go. During dreamtime Bluebird may have visited you. However he has chosen to contact you, it is clear that he is offering his medicine.
There are many ways to reach out to Bluebird and request his alliance. If you have a feather, you may want to place it somewhere dear to your heart or nearby your person, on an altar, bedside table, or work desk, for instance. Giving Bluebird a sacred space somewhere in your physical realm is one way to honor him and form this alliance. You can also purchase a bluebird fetish or ceramic figure to do the same.
Sitting with or meditating with Bluebird is a powerful way to begin communicating with him. You may find a comfortable, sunny space in your home, or a favorite place outdoors in which you can escape and close your eyes. Any place quiet and private is best, and this will vary person to person based on their home and the area they live in. Envision Bluebird and call out to him with your heart. Repeat his medicine to yourself, and he will come to you. Your own personal, deep medicine will come, and healing will take time.
Remember that Bluebird is patient, and that heart-healing is a long process. He reminds you to search your heart and your passions. Become acquainted with them again. Only through our true gifts can we begin to mend the heart; they are part of our plan, after all. So what is it that your heart longs for? What is it that you sacrificed in order to obtain a false happiness? Reclaim it. Bluebird is here to help.
Listen to the podcast that encouraged Bluebird's most recent visit with me at Alchemilla's Whispers: Plant Spirit Medicine.
In harmony and balance,